The man from Atos - will he say yes?

Well darklings, I've filled out those dreaded Atos forms and sent them back two weeks ago.
Now, it's the waiting game.......
I could hear tomorrow, or it could be a couple of months (gulps) the stress is killing me:-(
Its all hanging over me like a hangman's noose - will they? Won't they? Its a totally lottery folks!

I guess being of the more negatively inclined I kind of have prepared myself for the worst, but hey, let's wait and see......
Please cross your paws for me???
Stress is a bugger - off the top of my head and thinking about the way it's effected me, it's caused; insomnia, loss of appetite, mood swings, I.B.S, anxiety attacks, depression....you get the picture. I could go on and on but will stop there.
The thing that has got me through this is talking to good friends (you know who you are)! They ground you, make you laugh, and generally take your mind off things.
So, watch this space - I'll either be crying tears of joy, or tears of despair next time!

Here we go again.....

I need to let out the loudest primal scream as I'm stressed beyond belief darklings.
Lord Atos has sent me the dreaded forms which are now a yearly occurance (god help us all).
I wonder if he will wave his magic wand, and I will be cured and able to hop, skip and jump down the road, an eager gleam in my eye ready to start stacking shelves in Poundland or whatever? It seems Lord Atos works his magic with a majority of the sick, and less able bodied - one minute they are poorly and claiming sickness benefits, and the next, wow after diligently filling out their forms and attending their Atos medicals, well.....
They are told to go and get a job because they are not poorly anymore! Shucks, I just don't know how he does it.

I have my battle armour on darklings and I'm bringing out the big guns! Last time I got through this I helped 2 other people with their forms, and they got through it too.
Unfortunately Atos change the goal posts often, and don't tell us poor buggers.
I have spent days racing about gathering ammunition, in the form of doctors/health care professionals letters verifying my illness. Also researching how the goalposts have changed, boy its complicated.
It appears that by even turning up for your Atos medical you have already failed - they argue that it means you can therefore turn up for a job interview etc on time. But darklings, if you don't turn up they stop your money, damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Its really not designed for any winners.

Don't get me wrong, I am totally against a healthy person claiming sickness benefits, they give us poorly folk a bad name. But I honestly have never come across anyone who purposely defrauds the system in this way, I don't honestly think there are many that do, its virtually impossible!
Anyway, what I'm really cross about is, the fact that people with long term conditions like mine are reassessed every year. Surely someone who has been unwell for over, say 10 years need only need  checking up on every 5?

My poor G.P says that Atos are making it impossible for him to do his job well. He has 70+ letters a week to write on top of his normal workload. He says its like Atos are undermining him as a G.P
Let's face it, any doctor that would rather work for Atos than in a legitamite doctors practise/hospital is.......uh hmmm not a very good one! So there you have it, not very good doctors employed by the govt. or let's be honest here, bottom of the barrel doctors that can't get a job in a G.P practise or hospital, are lording it over good/decent doctors trying to do their job, who now have a huge extra workload. Hmmm sounds a bit fishy to me, in fact I smell a rat, a great big ugly one dunked in shit! Which neatly ends this rant with the nickname of the man I hate most ...Idiot Dunked-in-shit! Apologies for the colourful language if easily offended.

Good things come to those who don't give up.

Darklings,
Since last time I have had some very good karma indeed. In fact I can't quite believe the good luck I have been dished out.
Firstly things started out very badly - I had been waiting and waiting to hear what the outcome would be for my request for the DWP to look at my claim again for ESA in the support group.

Let me set the scene - I'm getting ready to go to a doctors appointment, my phone rings, it's a blocked number but I answer it anyway.
Dimwit jobsworth lady from the DWP: Can I ask you some questions about your recent letter? (Recent? ha, more like 3 months ago)!
Me: yes ok.
Dimwit jobsworth: what makes you think you should be in the support group and not the work related group?
Me: because both Disability North and my job centre advisor told me.
Dimwit jobsworth: but the work related group doesn't mean we expect you to work, we acknowledge that you're too ill to work, we just want to make sure you're getting the help you need to get better.
Me: Er, then why is it called the work related group? And that's not what the people at the job centre are telling us.
Long pause............
Dimwit jobsworth: I see here on your forms that you say you go to group physiotherapy once a week, how far is it from your flat?
Me: about a mile, I get there by bus.
Dimwit jobsworth: and how far is the bus stop from your flat in metres please?
Me: I don't know, I've never measured it with a tape measure. ( perhaps if I'd have said 20.4 metres exactly she might have believed me)!!!

Anyway, blah, blah, blah you get the idea of the kind of moronic questions that were fired at me for half an hour.

Doctors appointments at our surgery are like gold dust, and I really needed to see my doctor, I was looking at the time getting more and more stressed/angry.

Finally dimwit jobsworth woman summed up by saying that I didn't fit any of the criteria for being put in the support group, she would let me know her decision by post.
I said that if it came to it, that I would appeal.

I would have put money on not getting the decision I wanted.

Fast forward to a week later..........

A letter comes in the post from the DWP - I brace myself for bad news.

The letter was dated the very same day that dimwit jobsworth phoned me, it said that they had decided to change their decision and award me support group status - yippee, I was over the moon, I really couldn't believe my luck!
Then I had a separate letter stating that my money would be going up by £20 per week! Wow, I had no idea that I would get an increase as well. This covers the bedroom tax and the council tax I am now having to pay.

Things couldn't be better, I feel so very lucky. I've fought for what I know I should be getting and not backed down. I've since found out that some of the things dimwit jobsworth told me are complete lies aimed at trying to get me to withdraw my claim. I stuck to my guns and stood up for what I believe in AND I won!

It just goes to show what you can do if you have the right attitude - I unleashed some of my angry 15 year old inner punk, I wasn't rude or sarky to dimwit jobsworth, I just spoke calmly and politely which made it all the more difficult for her, but I did make her questions sound ridiculous (which they were).

So, my big dollop of good karma is here and I will be rolling around and immersing myself in it wholeheartedly ..................

Platform 9 and 3/4?

Where does all our missing post go to? I've often wondered this, you clearly address a letter, you stick on the correct stamp - but voila it's gone!

The reason why I ask this is, that so far it has taken since Feb 5th for a letter to get to it's destination and be acknowledged that it has arrived.
I had an interview at my local job centre plus on Feb 4th, and was told by my advisor that I should have been placed in the ESA support group, and NOT the ESA WRAG group. My advisor gave me a self addressed envelope and told me to send a letter off explaining about my illness and that I would like them to look at their decision again. The envelope was addressed to somewhere in Bradford, when I queried this my job centre advisor informed me that Newcastle was snowed under, so they sometimes send things on to be assessed by other offices in other areas.

I duly sent it off the very next day, luckily remembering to take a copy at the last minute.
Time goes on....... 3 weeks in fact, hmmm I hear nothing.
I decide to find out what's going on, I look for a phone number/contact number for my local job centre - can't find one, just an 0800 central number (expensive when your mobile contract doesn't include these numbers).

Dimwit 1 answers phone, I explain my situation.
Dimwit 1: You are not in our system, therefore your letter must have been lost, can you resend it? It shouldn't have been sent to Bradford, it should have been sent to Stockton.
I ask to be put through to my local job centre,  Dimwit 2 answers phone - again I explain situation.
Dimwit 2: Your letter shouldn't have been sent to Bradford or Stockton, it should have been sent to Gateshead. Now I'm really confused!
Next I ask to be put through to my job centre advisor who gave me the self addressed envelope in the first place. He says my letter did indeed go to the right place, but must have got lost, and that dimwit 1 and dimwit 2 don't know what they are talking about.

So..... I resend letter to Gateshead (well, best out of 3). A few days later I get a voicemail from dimwit 3 who says: We have received a letter from you that has come to the wrong place, we will pass it on to (who knows where) I stopped listening at this point, actually that's a lie, I was in fact swearing so loudly the message and in fact everything going on around me for a 2 mile radius could not be heard over the shouty, sweary words coming out of my mouth!

And so darklings, it is now the 16th March and after almost 6 weeks I am none the wiser. I do believe that Platform 9 and 3/4 exists and all our unreceived post goes there - on the other hand I probably really believe that our country is run by dimwits!

The somnambulist

I sleep, and sleep, and sleep and still never seem to feel refreshed. Sometimes I clock in up to 12 hours in a night, and still need an afternoon nap/snooze!

I had my first interview at job centre plus - the new rules for being in WRAG (the work related activity group). You have to be questioned about your illness and how you are taking steps to get better.


Well darklings, it's all gobaldegook to me the nice man at the job centre urged me to appeal this decision. To be honest, I was just happy I didn't have to go for a medical and my money was staying the same. It's all very confusing (intentionally) I reckon.
So it turns out I should have been put in the support group, which means ......well not sure exactly what it means, but there you go! All I can say is - watch this space.

Busy week at Kitty-Whip towers - the fridge packed up, just after I'd done a weeks worth of food shopping, which was just infuriating.
Managed to get a 2nd hand replacement on Gum Tree for £30 which was great! But after forking out £20 for food shopping and £30 for a new fridge......well that's half of what I get in benefits in a week. So I will be living frugally for the foreseeable future.

I don't think the govt really understand just how difficult it is for us long term unwell folks. Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't take it for granted that I am able to survive and get enough money to live on, but with all the new govt cuts coming in by April I will be about £18 a week worse off. That is going to be extremely difficult. What happens if my washing machine breaks down, or some other appliance? Will I have to get a credit card, or go to a loan shark and get myself in to debt? Which I certainly am not in at the moment, and do not want to be in. I really don't think Mr. Scam-Moron has thought this through - does he really want a country full of poor people all in debt?
It seems he is just a money man and not a politician, he is not interested about keeping public places going like libraries, swimming pools, beautiful parks etc. he's closing as many of them as he can get away with just to save money. The plebs who can't afford things like membership in exclusive health clubs, national trust subscriptions and enough money to buy new books will suffer. And that means the likes of you and me!

No wonder I have been so very tired of late, the whole unfairness of it all goes round and round my over active brain. I am by no means an extravagant person, but I am worried about the future, and so should you be.
In fact sleep is a welcome release from it all.......so, I might just have a quick cat nap!

Zzzzzzz

Snow Blog (SNOG)!

My year in a SNOG or snow blog for short -

Well, last January I went to see the comedian Mark Thomas, I started going to yoga classes especially for M.E. sufferers and did a pub quiz.
February - party! Steven Severin of Banshees fame performing soundtrack to Vampyr (silent movie).
Group CBT course starts.
Months supply of antibiotics oh joy
The Artist at the cinema and Nativities at the Live Theatre.
March - Another month of antibiotics, more joy!
The Hunger Games at the cinema
April - Mark Steele at The Stand doing Mark Steele's In Town
May - Week away in Alnwick
June - Prometheus at the flicks
Stressless workshop
July - Weekend away in Low Newton
Started graded exercise group for M.E sufferers
More antibiotics
Pagan/Goth wedding
Ouseburn festival
August - week away in Cowsby (near Northallerton)
Life drawing
September - Very poorly with week long stomach bug
Wine tasting party
Life drawing
Talk by Joanne Harris at the library
Exhibition about being an M.E sufferer (the invisible illness)
October - My birthday!
Hot stone massage (bliss)
Mine and Olly's anniversary
November - Weekend in York with horrendous cold!
Benefits forms
Ouseburn studios open weekend
Coffee tasting
December - Meal out with M.E peeps
Lunch with more M.E peeps
Meal out at favourite veggie eaterie.
Another horrendous cold!

So there you have it - not really an eventful year, hopefully this one will be better!

.............and - relax!

Gosh, it's been months since I've checked in darklings. And a very hectic few months its been!

My birthday was spoiled this year by the arrival of some forms in a nasty brown envelope nestled amongst all the cards. The forms were for ESA as the benefits system is being changed by the Tories. Apparently next year they are changing it yet again, huh, that's as much use as a marzipan dildo, what is the point? David Cameron is so thick that light has to bend around him! Off with his head, or should I say orf with his head!

So, as you can imagine, Kitty Whip towers has been stress city.
Honestly, filling in those forms for the benefit buggers has been like studying for an exam. I've been busier than a two twatted hooker running around all over the place, organising letters of support from my doctor and other medical professionals. Well, I think I've finally got it sorted, it will be cutting things a bit fine, but paws crossed everything will be ok. I've had such brilliant advice from friends and loads of support.

As a result of all the stress I've had swollen glands on and off, but mainly on for over 6 weeks! I have been so very poorly and my mood has plummeted to an all time low. Lets hope things improve soon, send me good luck vibes darklings, I may very well need them!