On a roll...............

Oh what a luverly day it's been - the sun has out shone itself, warming my joints to the very core darklings!
The CFS mist is lifting, (somewhat) and I feel kind of alive.

Meeting friends for coffee, doing a yoga class, (sighs) I have been experiencing a small period of wellbeing. Could it be the homeopathic remedy? Or perhaps the carnelian crystals? Or even the combination of many things? At the moment I'm too glad to care!

I don't mean to be a party pooper - but this is where the trouble (could) start............
You see, feeling like this - bouncy and happy, can make you feel high on life, kind of invincible (like a super hero).

 If I was sensible I would drag out my enormous folder on coping mechanisms. My doctor referred me on a course run by the nhs a while back. There was a group of us CFS victims and a cognative behavioural therapist (CBT) person who ran it. It was an extremely helpful course, but like other good things, due to cut backs I believe it may no longer exist.

I guess it's a kind of bury my head in the sand moment, but, I promise you darklings, tomorrow, the dreaded folder will emerge from the depths of wherever it is - like a phoenix from the flames!

(Waves fist in the air, and attempts to do Mel Gibson impersonation) 'You can take our energy, but you can't take our freedom!'  Wow, apologies I went off on a bit of a tangent there! Anyway, you get the gist, I WILL NOT go too mad.

Toodle pip

The rain clouds are clearing..........a bit?

Hello darklings,
Well, it's a bright day, and I feel ok (about time too)!
For the first time in weeks I woke up, did some yoga (the kitten kept plonking himself down on my yoga mat), and was showered and dressed before midday (just)! I feel this is a BIG achievement.

Also, I have not had an afternoon nap, and am due to go out tonight! Woo hoo - hello normality.
A friend,  Mr. P's birthday drinkies, tonight in a quiet pub that has a resident ginger moggie - who I adore. Er, the moggie that is, just in case of confusion.

Right, note to self - do not overdo things, reserve some energy, otherwise it will all end in tears.

Here is a very funny thing which made me smile this morning, do try it!

www.drawastickman.com

Bet you are either laughing now, or perhaps a little mildly amused?

My mantra, when I am feeling low will be - Do yoga, and listen to/watch stuff that makes me laugh!

My good mood could be due to Miss R,  who yesterday restored my faith in myself with a good old cuppa and a chat, (sometimes it's the simple things).

Ah, the kitten is trilling at me- he either wants food or a cuddle, if only life were that simple for us humans...........

Doctor, Doctor........

Well,
I spent a good part of this morning in a doctors waiting room. I wonder how many hours that would add up to in a lifetime? I must say, my doctor is very good, and so sympathetic, even if there is not much he can do. Iron pills (again) and 'come back soon and let me know how you're getting on.'

Yesterday I did manage to go to a yoga class, got back home and ran a scorchingly hot bath, wallowed for a bit, then wrapped in my fluffy dressing gown fell asleep cuddled up to the kitten! I didn't wake up until tea time, uh oh, another afternoon wasted - big #FAIL.

I have a list of things I want/really need to do, but they never get done. I always plan to do them, but.......
The bedroom looks like a tip (again). The boyfriend says I leave a trail of debris behind me, if he wants to know where I am he just follows it. Jacket, boots, keys, bag seem to leave my grasp as I enter through the front door, like a trail of crumbs!

Anyway, getting back to the doctors, they don't have any decent magazines anymore, it must be cuts, or I just don't live in a posh enough area. Instead I have to watch young mum's that look about 15 chase their waywood toddlers around the waiting room to stop them screaming the place down. I always forget to take a book, but what are the chances if I did, of not having to wait at all? Hmmm

I have been advised by a friend of a friend Mrs CTF who is a homeopath, to take a homeopathic remedy, I will try anything at the moment. Not really sure what I make of homeopathy, I don't really know anything about it, so here's hoping it has some effect. I have looked up the particular remedy prescribed, it certainly sounds good (crosses fingers), on the down side, it may take quite a while to work.

I am in a slightly more upbeat mood today, booked my train tickets to go and visit a very good friend at the end of October. In her words 'come and stay, let mamma S look after you' How could I refuse?!

Autumns here!

Evening darklings,
It's been rather chilly of late don't you think? In fact, I am wearing a thick jumper and a scarf! Us ME folk really feel the cold, possibly something to do with having low blood pressure perhaps.

Here is a photo of my gorgeous kitty Groucho (named after Groucho Marx).
He makes me very happy and will feature big time in my blog!
Today I have mostly been cuddling up to him in bed, with my leccy blanket on full volume (gas mark 3)!

I made the mistake of offering to do some food shopping this morning for the boyfriend. BIG MISTAKE!
Saturday morning in morrisons = zombies shuffling around like day of the dead. Also I piled too much into my trolley forgetting that I had to lug it all home - I don't drive.

Got home and nearly fell through the door, spent the rest of the day in bed :-(

This song is dedicated to me Stupid Girl -  by Garbage
http://youtu.be/1HBxUWSxcq8

Fed up!!!!!

OK, so I've been going through a bad patch of late, you would think resting up is enough to get me back on track. No, unfortunately not, you see what happens then is the depression sets in. Being stuck in bed makes you feel useless and miserable after a while. It is very difficult to emerge from feeling like this, sometimes it takes weeks, or even longer.

My survival kit for this is
1 A good book
2 Radio 4
3 A cuddly kitty
4 A hot water bottle
5 Copious amounts of earl grey tea
6 Fairy lights (all magical and make me smile)

Blimey, this makes me sound like a miserable cow, I'm really not! In fact usually I am a bouncy, chatty, bubbly person.

My mission and target for today is to walk a very short distance to the chemist, I need to pick up a repeat prescription. This will probably take me all day, many hours to think about it and muster up the courage and energy.

When you shut yourself off to rest up for a few weeks, you lose all your confidence,  and become a little agraphobic laced with a smidgen of OCD (nice) NOT!

I hope to emerge like a phoenix from the flames very soon - watch this space darklings!

Missing out on the good stuff :-(

The clue is in the title, unfortunately us ME people don't have great social lives.
OK you've been invited on a night out, so being sensible you stay in bed most of the day to conserve energy. I'm afraid it doesn't work like that.
 Sometimes, even if you feel OK after a night out beware - it will hit you a day or two later like a ton of bricks!
You have to plan ahead, but sometimes that goes pear shaped, it's all very stressful!
I have missed out on nights out for the past 2 weekends now, I'm determined not to make it 3 in a row. I'm going out tonight even if it kills me!
 A face book friend and fellow ME sufferer Ms L pointed out, that sometimes even if you feel awful physically after going out, mentally you are high as a kite and happy inside! It is also kind of good for you to mingle and forget about the illness.
The tiredness is hard to describe, it's like no other. It comes down like a black veil when you least expect it, and leaves you so fatigued you could literally lie down on the pavement (or wherever you happen to be at that moment). So.......going to gigs is almost impossible, unless you know the venue, and there  are chairs or a seating area, though usually that means you can't see a thing.
Right, I'm off to find the kitten, I need a big cuddle!

The Drugs!

Ah, what would I do without the many pills I have to take daily? I have a huge box of them that is gradually taking over the whole bedroom.
 I cannot function without the painkillers (3 different types per day). The problem is keeping up with the re-ordering of repeat prescriptions, quite often I run out completely, and the chemist takes 2 working days to process them....... so sometimes I have to do without for a few days.
This is a bad thing, as withdrawal symptoms start to kick in; headaches, aching joints, dizziness, tiredness and feeling like a grumpy bear.
Funnily enough, the best thing for sore, aching joints I've found is a scorchingly hot bath, with a few drops of lavender oil in. Honestly, there's nothing like it, but on the down side, the effects don't last as long as strong painkillers.
Also, kisses from my kitten Groucho help immensely (he seems to know when a cuddle is required)! Cuddles in general seem to help, so, if you know someone suffering with ME, Give them a big hug........go on, do it now!
Right, I've gone off on a tangent, I'm meant to be talking about drugs right? So, my advice is get yourself one of those granny pill dispenser thingies, where there is a lid for each day of the week, then you should keep on top of things.
Right, all this blogging is making me tired, so I'm going for an afternoon nap Zzzzzzzz