The girl with the feline tattoo!

Hello darklings,
Hope you all had a cool Yule? I certainly did, safely home now cuddled up to the kitten - which makes me very happy!

Miss Kitty Whip had 4 fabulous days away, eating, drinking and making merry. I am exhausted now, my glands are swelling up, particularly on the right side, booooo!

My main Christmas present was the spectacular tattoo on my inner forearm. It is truly a work of art, tattoo artists are such a talented bunch of artists who don't receive the notoriety they truly deserve. It's at that horrible itchy stage at the moment, which feels like an army of ants are dancing on my arm!

I might venture into town tomorrow depending on how I feel. Must remember that too much playing out makes Miss Kitty Whip a very tired girl! Everything in moderation - easier said than done.

I am a little worried about my brother, who seems to have gone AWOL! Haven't heard anything from him in months, he'll probably be abroad on an exotic holiday (hopefully). Who knows with him, he's a bit of a globe trotter.

So.......the New Year is almost upon us, what will I be doing? Probably a walk, maybe a meal out, home for bubbly, DVD and possibly Jools Holland. How will you be celebrating? Are you just too Christmassed out? I suspect you are, and there's nothing wrong with having a sedate NYE!

Have a healthy one - whatever you do xxxxxxxxx

Meowwwy Christmas!

Evening darklings,
Well, I'm on the sofa watching Factory People on my telly box - it's a series about Andy Warhol's entourage back in the 60's. Very interesting viewing, so many messed up people!
In fact, I'm surprised so many are still alive to be honest.

I'm kind of all ready for the festive season - four lovely days away in York, I really am looking forward to it. My boyfriend and I will have some quality time together, and also see his family which will be great!
I have some cool pressies for him too - shhhhh!

My main Christmas present from him is a new tattoo! Photos when it's all done just before Christmas.
It's so very exciting getting body art, and it is art if done well.

I saw a very good film at the flicks last week, Another Earth. It's kind of about what would happen if there was a parallel universe. I went with my fellow film buff Miss R, we both thought it was well worth a look. Sherlock Holmes later this week, a meal out too - wow, hope all this playing out doesn't cause a meltdown.

I need to sort out my meds, since having that awful cold (which is still not completely gone). It's left me with a dodgy tummy, hope it's gone by the time I tuck in to my Christmas din dins which is always awesome! My boyfriend's family are all amazing cooks, so Christmas dinner is literally the best meal of the year.

My energy levels have been getting a little better lately which is very good news! I have managed a couple of yoga classes so everything is gradually improving.
The best thing I could wish for Christmas is better health, I so deserve it - really I do!

The tree is up, and luckily the kitten has had no interest in it whatsoever, this is very puzzling.
But, I guess it's early days yet, as it only went up on Saturday. It's a kind of minimalist affair this year, we didn't want any breakable decorations in reach of little paws!

Right then darklings, my coffin is beckoning to me, and with that wonderful electric blanket ..........well, I may not emerge until Spring. Best set my alarm for Christmas!!!!

Down and in the dumps:-(

Well, the title says it all, not good just lately. Pain racking my body so I can't even get about properly. I've been stuck in my coffin for days, not seeing the light of day.

A fellow M.E sufferer suggested Epsom salts in my bath water, the magnesium feeds the muscles and is good for aches. Well, it was marvellous darklings. A hot bath, then a wonderful restful sleep (as my muscles were warm and relaxed). Wow what a difference, I can actually walk like a young person again!
I think I will continue with this every few days. Being completely warm and relaxed before sleep makes the world of difference - so thank you Ms Super Tachyon for your wonderful advice!

This week I'm meeting fellow M.E friends for a cosy festive dinner, we'll all probably fall asleep (badoom tish)!

I am writing this blog from my coffin darklings, on my phone - so if it looks like gobbledeegook code thats why.
Please feel free to give feed back on my blog - I don't bite (much)!!!

Alive and kicking!

Good morning darklings,
I have unfortunately been laid up in my coffin with a horrendous cold. Luckily I managed to get hold of some throat nectar (cough mixture) before it turned into a chest infection.

Still feeling pretty wiped out, but that's CFS for you. The kitten has been an immense help, he's been on cuddling duty 24/7! He's better than any cold remedy, my little star!

I managed to go to a life drawing class on Monday, run by a dear friend who has had a lovely new studio built in her house. It felt wonderful to get back into the creative stuff, I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Darklings, I am typing this blog on my phone, but will try to add a few examples of my etchings if at all possible. It's quite tricky doing it from a phone!

I have a few good things lined up for the rest of the week - cinema tomorrow (My week with Marilyn), Fri meeting great group of girlies for coffee, cake, fun and frolics! Fri evening a drink with old friends. Oh, and I almost forgot today - meeting with a talented tattooist to book up for getting inked (again)!
But that's a story for another day, you'll just have to subscribe to my blog.......................x

A husky voice may sound sexy - but doesn't feel sexy!

Darklings,
I am sitting in my coffin with a dreaded cold :-(
My voice sounds like I smoke 40 fags a day, feels like someone has taken a cheese grater to my throat.
I have been drawn to my coffin like a magnet for days now, just leaving Kitty Whip Towers would be an achievement believe me!

You see, when an M.E/CFS sufferer catches a cold it can be a disaster. It's a very vicious circle, once the initial cold symptoms have manifested there is the secondary infections. These can consist of - chest infection, urine/kidney infection, itchy body rash, mouth ulcers, and generally feeling completely wiped out for 2 or 3 weeks after all the cold symptoms have gone. The actual cold will almost certainly linger a lot longer than in a healthy person too. After speaking to other sufferers, we agreed the cold has more flu like symptoms. For me personally, the worst part is the excruciating joint/muscle pain, the cold virus targets all the weak spots in your body. I have to sometimes use a stick when my back/hips are bad. I have a very fetching black one with flowers on!
At first I felt odd about using it (vanity I guess) but now I'm getting used to it, if it helps me get around better - then so be it!

Oh, by the way my appointment at the CFS unit was fine. I'm being referred to do a group therapy course which is lead by a cognitive behavioural therapist. I've done one of these before which was extremely helpful!
So I guess it's taking it easy and not stressing about stuff - easier said than done!

Blog-tastic!

Evening darklings,
I have been a little quiet of late - not at my best I'm afraid. My coat is not shiny, my tail is not bushy, Miss Kitty Whip is feeling decidedly under par :-(

Luckily I have an appointment at the M.E. unit next week .....finally. I just hope I can get things sorted out, the joint pain is unbearable, my G.P. is sending me for physio. Whether or not that will help - who knows???

I am imbibing a mug full of hot chocolate with a handful of painkillers - that is my cocktail for a Saturday night (how sad is that)?! Can't even do yoga, too tired and too sore. Darklings, I need a cyber hug - I need to feel those warm cyber arms around me.........ahhhh that's better :-)
Can I just snuggle in a bit more? Ow, you just cyber elbowed me!

One good thing to cheer me up - I am off to see The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari tomorrow night at the flicks! It's a very old silent horror movie (German Expressionist) which suits my mood divinely.
Your homework darklings, if you choose to take up the challenge - is to seek out the film and tell me your thoughts on it?

Uh oh, the kitten is wanting my attention - and he is a hard task master!

Later darklings.............

Feeling Arty!

My fingers are itching for the feel of compressed charcoal, paint brushes, graphite sticks! Miss Kitty Whip craves some art in her life.
She is a 'sometimes artist' when the mood takes her, only due to feeling below par of late she hasn't done anything about it. Bad Kitty Whip, must try harder, needs motivation and a big dollop of inspiration.
Well, I do have a few ideas.........
One being the obvious subject - the kitten! I have many wonderful photos of my feline baby, but - have asked the boyfriend repeatedly to show me how to hook up the lap top to the printer and transfer photos. But as you guessed, to no avail :-(
I desperately want to immortalise the kitten in oil, acrylic or whatever but it's a right pain when the photo as it's up on the computer times out and shuts down! Grrrrrrump.............
I will however persevere with my nagging as I want to draw and be crafty and creative.
Last weekend I ventured out to a wonderful art gallery just a stones throw from Kitty Whip towers. I just love looking at art ....siiiiiiggghhhhs.....

Restored and rebooted.........

I have just returned from a very relaxing weekend away in the country.
What is it about the country air that makes you feel .......well ......generally good? Maybe it's the imbibing of wine by the roaring wood burning stove, or the clean, fresh air, or just possibly - doing nothing!

I obviously missed the kitten, but made friends with a tame pedigree sheep! He is the pet of the next door neighbours at the cottage we were staying in. He is such a gentle soul, and likes nothing better than to follow you around, especially if you take the time to talk to him. He was incredibly quiet, no bleating - only a slight growl when I first approached him. I guess he wondered if I was friend or foe! Within minutes we were the bestest of friends.

Energy levels have been up and down, so I am playing it by ear. I have had a bit of a fibromyalgia attack for the last few weeks, I however will not bore you with that. I am trying to rectify it by doing yoga 3 times a week - it helps.

I was complimented on how shiny my hair is looking yesterday (twice)! I was also asked which shampoo I use, I guess it must be all that country air that is making Miss Kitty Whip's mane sparkle............

'Stressed' is just 'Desserts' spelled backwards......

Well darklings,
I made it through another birthday................... mind you, the day before my birthday was a difficult one. My beloved Pillow (cat) passed away 2 years ago on that day, so it will always be rather sad :-(

Pet's inspire such a pure love...........I am so glad I have my kitten Groucho, he is just over a year old now, so not quite so kittenish any more!
He keeps me sane (just), and gives me many kisses and cuddles which is a very good thing.

My birthday started with a long lie in (ahem, or oversleeping shhhh)!
No time for brekkie, quick bit of brunch, then mad dash to get to the cinema on time (the film started at 1.20pm).
Then a trot over to the art gallery to see a print making exhibition, frankly darklings, around 70% of it was a bit pants - pretentious clap trap!

Later on that evening it was bubbly time..........and cake mmmmm, carrot cake to be precise, with luscious icing on, delicious goodness that is oh so wonderful!

My energy levels have been so/so, I'm really trying NOT to overdo things. Those alarm bells are kind of ringing in a distant sort of way, I am aware and not ignoring them. Plenty of cat naps, and doing only one  big task a day, this may consist of :

A yoga class
Meeting friends for coffee
A short walk
Going to the cinema
A light food shop
Doctor/Dentist appointment

You get the picture, sad isn't it? That is why in Miss Kitty Whip's world nothing get's done! Or it might, but slowly.
Must not beat oneself up about it 'keep calm and carry on'

Let's say it together 'keep calm and carry on' - now doesn't that feel better.............?

Blog on!

Good morning,
Well, I've kind of peeled myself off the floor and am doing ok ish.
Health wise, I've actually not been too bad at the moment. I've been trying to listen to my body, which is saying 'be kind to me' so that is what I've been doing.
This consists of;
Lots of cuddles with the kitten
A short walk each day
Healthy, wholesome food
Not beating myself up about doing all the things I think I should be doing!
Listening to good music
Reading a good book
Listening to radio 4

I have some fun things to look forward to (which always helps)!
Friday night, a meal in the best vegetarian restaurant in the area, after meeting up with friends for coffee and cake earlier in the day.
Then Sunday..........(drum roll) it's my birthday! Yay, off to the cinema to see Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. So all in all, a very good weekend planned which has lifted my spirits no end.

And.......have just had an invite for the following weekend to stay in a lovely cottage in the country - now things are really looking up!
It seems the powers that be have taken pity on me and are turning things in my favour. Well, you know what they say about karma? What goes around comes around, and I am due a big dollop of loveliness!

The rain clouds are gathering....

Just when I thought things were looking up - raining heavily, dull and grey.
My very favourite uncle unfortunately passed away today, very sad day indeed.

In fact I have decided to write today off, I've gone back to bed this afternoon with the kitten to wallow. Sometimes a good wallow is the right thing to do. It gives one a bit of 'me' time.

It seems like a big low always comes after a big high. It's like the powers that be not letting you enjoy life too much. They like to remind you that they have the power. Don't get me wrong, I am not the slightest bit religious, but I do believe in karma ish.

Yesterday, I had a wonderful day in the late summer sunshine in a beautiful botanic gardens. It couldn't be further from today's doom and gloom.

Bad things always happen near to my birthday, I haven't enjoyed my birthday for three years or so. Although last year was fun, watching the penguin parade at Edinburgh zoo!

Don't worry darklings, I will be alright, I always am ..........eventually.

On a roll...............

Oh what a luverly day it's been - the sun has out shone itself, warming my joints to the very core darklings!
The CFS mist is lifting, (somewhat) and I feel kind of alive.

Meeting friends for coffee, doing a yoga class, (sighs) I have been experiencing a small period of wellbeing. Could it be the homeopathic remedy? Or perhaps the carnelian crystals? Or even the combination of many things? At the moment I'm too glad to care!

I don't mean to be a party pooper - but this is where the trouble (could) start............
You see, feeling like this - bouncy and happy, can make you feel high on life, kind of invincible (like a super hero).

 If I was sensible I would drag out my enormous folder on coping mechanisms. My doctor referred me on a course run by the nhs a while back. There was a group of us CFS victims and a cognative behavioural therapist (CBT) person who ran it. It was an extremely helpful course, but like other good things, due to cut backs I believe it may no longer exist.

I guess it's a kind of bury my head in the sand moment, but, I promise you darklings, tomorrow, the dreaded folder will emerge from the depths of wherever it is - like a phoenix from the flames!

(Waves fist in the air, and attempts to do Mel Gibson impersonation) 'You can take our energy, but you can't take our freedom!'  Wow, apologies I went off on a bit of a tangent there! Anyway, you get the gist, I WILL NOT go too mad.

Toodle pip

The rain clouds are clearing..........a bit?

Hello darklings,
Well, it's a bright day, and I feel ok (about time too)!
For the first time in weeks I woke up, did some yoga (the kitten kept plonking himself down on my yoga mat), and was showered and dressed before midday (just)! I feel this is a BIG achievement.

Also, I have not had an afternoon nap, and am due to go out tonight! Woo hoo - hello normality.
A friend,  Mr. P's birthday drinkies, tonight in a quiet pub that has a resident ginger moggie - who I adore. Er, the moggie that is, just in case of confusion.

Right, note to self - do not overdo things, reserve some energy, otherwise it will all end in tears.

Here is a very funny thing which made me smile this morning, do try it!

www.drawastickman.com

Bet you are either laughing now, or perhaps a little mildly amused?

My mantra, when I am feeling low will be - Do yoga, and listen to/watch stuff that makes me laugh!

My good mood could be due to Miss R,  who yesterday restored my faith in myself with a good old cuppa and a chat, (sometimes it's the simple things).

Ah, the kitten is trilling at me- he either wants food or a cuddle, if only life were that simple for us humans...........

Doctor, Doctor........

Well,
I spent a good part of this morning in a doctors waiting room. I wonder how many hours that would add up to in a lifetime? I must say, my doctor is very good, and so sympathetic, even if there is not much he can do. Iron pills (again) and 'come back soon and let me know how you're getting on.'

Yesterday I did manage to go to a yoga class, got back home and ran a scorchingly hot bath, wallowed for a bit, then wrapped in my fluffy dressing gown fell asleep cuddled up to the kitten! I didn't wake up until tea time, uh oh, another afternoon wasted - big #FAIL.

I have a list of things I want/really need to do, but they never get done. I always plan to do them, but.......
The bedroom looks like a tip (again). The boyfriend says I leave a trail of debris behind me, if he wants to know where I am he just follows it. Jacket, boots, keys, bag seem to leave my grasp as I enter through the front door, like a trail of crumbs!

Anyway, getting back to the doctors, they don't have any decent magazines anymore, it must be cuts, or I just don't live in a posh enough area. Instead I have to watch young mum's that look about 15 chase their waywood toddlers around the waiting room to stop them screaming the place down. I always forget to take a book, but what are the chances if I did, of not having to wait at all? Hmmm

I have been advised by a friend of a friend Mrs CTF who is a homeopath, to take a homeopathic remedy, I will try anything at the moment. Not really sure what I make of homeopathy, I don't really know anything about it, so here's hoping it has some effect. I have looked up the particular remedy prescribed, it certainly sounds good (crosses fingers), on the down side, it may take quite a while to work.

I am in a slightly more upbeat mood today, booked my train tickets to go and visit a very good friend at the end of October. In her words 'come and stay, let mamma S look after you' How could I refuse?!

Autumns here!

Evening darklings,
It's been rather chilly of late don't you think? In fact, I am wearing a thick jumper and a scarf! Us ME folk really feel the cold, possibly something to do with having low blood pressure perhaps.

Here is a photo of my gorgeous kitty Groucho (named after Groucho Marx).
He makes me very happy and will feature big time in my blog!
Today I have mostly been cuddling up to him in bed, with my leccy blanket on full volume (gas mark 3)!

I made the mistake of offering to do some food shopping this morning for the boyfriend. BIG MISTAKE!
Saturday morning in morrisons = zombies shuffling around like day of the dead. Also I piled too much into my trolley forgetting that I had to lug it all home - I don't drive.

Got home and nearly fell through the door, spent the rest of the day in bed :-(

This song is dedicated to me Stupid Girl -  by Garbage
http://youtu.be/1HBxUWSxcq8

Fed up!!!!!

OK, so I've been going through a bad patch of late, you would think resting up is enough to get me back on track. No, unfortunately not, you see what happens then is the depression sets in. Being stuck in bed makes you feel useless and miserable after a while. It is very difficult to emerge from feeling like this, sometimes it takes weeks, or even longer.

My survival kit for this is
1 A good book
2 Radio 4
3 A cuddly kitty
4 A hot water bottle
5 Copious amounts of earl grey tea
6 Fairy lights (all magical and make me smile)

Blimey, this makes me sound like a miserable cow, I'm really not! In fact usually I am a bouncy, chatty, bubbly person.

My mission and target for today is to walk a very short distance to the chemist, I need to pick up a repeat prescription. This will probably take me all day, many hours to think about it and muster up the courage and energy.

When you shut yourself off to rest up for a few weeks, you lose all your confidence,  and become a little agraphobic laced with a smidgen of OCD (nice) NOT!

I hope to emerge like a phoenix from the flames very soon - watch this space darklings!

Missing out on the good stuff :-(

The clue is in the title, unfortunately us ME people don't have great social lives.
OK you've been invited on a night out, so being sensible you stay in bed most of the day to conserve energy. I'm afraid it doesn't work like that.
 Sometimes, even if you feel OK after a night out beware - it will hit you a day or two later like a ton of bricks!
You have to plan ahead, but sometimes that goes pear shaped, it's all very stressful!
I have missed out on nights out for the past 2 weekends now, I'm determined not to make it 3 in a row. I'm going out tonight even if it kills me!
 A face book friend and fellow ME sufferer Ms L pointed out, that sometimes even if you feel awful physically after going out, mentally you are high as a kite and happy inside! It is also kind of good for you to mingle and forget about the illness.
The tiredness is hard to describe, it's like no other. It comes down like a black veil when you least expect it, and leaves you so fatigued you could literally lie down on the pavement (or wherever you happen to be at that moment). So.......going to gigs is almost impossible, unless you know the venue, and there  are chairs or a seating area, though usually that means you can't see a thing.
Right, I'm off to find the kitten, I need a big cuddle!

The Drugs!

Ah, what would I do without the many pills I have to take daily? I have a huge box of them that is gradually taking over the whole bedroom.
 I cannot function without the painkillers (3 different types per day). The problem is keeping up with the re-ordering of repeat prescriptions, quite often I run out completely, and the chemist takes 2 working days to process them....... so sometimes I have to do without for a few days.
This is a bad thing, as withdrawal symptoms start to kick in; headaches, aching joints, dizziness, tiredness and feeling like a grumpy bear.
Funnily enough, the best thing for sore, aching joints I've found is a scorchingly hot bath, with a few drops of lavender oil in. Honestly, there's nothing like it, but on the down side, the effects don't last as long as strong painkillers.
Also, kisses from my kitten Groucho help immensely (he seems to know when a cuddle is required)! Cuddles in general seem to help, so, if you know someone suffering with ME, Give them a big hug........go on, do it now!
Right, I've gone off on a tangent, I'm meant to be talking about drugs right? So, my advice is get yourself one of those granny pill dispenser thingies, where there is a lid for each day of the week, then you should keep on top of things.
Right, all this blogging is making me tired, so I'm going for an afternoon nap Zzzzzzzz

Cream crackered!

Well, what can I say? The clue is in the title.
There are different types of tiredness - happy, worn out tiredness, or horrible over tiredness, where you've overdone things and actually feel ill.
Today I'm verging on over tiredness - bleugh!
Managed to do a yoga class this morning, no matter how early I get up, I always seem to be rushing around like a demented idiot, and usually manage to make the class in time with seconds to spare!
Then, this afternoon I met up with fellow ME peeps who I met on a course. I am rather worried about Mr. H, who wasn't at all well today. I was actually 40 mins late, stupidly thinking we were meeting at 3pm and had bags of time to spare - until I got a call from Ms K wondering why I hadn't joined them for guzzling of coffee, and troughing of cake. Ah well, I pointed out, it's an ME thing

Start up

So here goes, I am now officially a blogger!

A bit about me, or should I say ME or CFS (as it now seems to be known).

I am Miss Kitty-Whip, sufferer of ME/CFS for many years. I stumble along through life making do as best I can, usually,  somehow I muddle through (allegedly)!

Anyway, for the typical CFS person just doing mundane, boring things that a regular fit person would do become quite a triumphant achievement.

Like today for instance, not feeling too bad, so ........went pants shopping, how very exciting!

The thing with CFS is that most of us don't really look unwell, maybe a little jaded, but generally pretty normal. So the worst thing you can possibly say ever in the whole of the universe to me or any CFS victim is......'You look so well' Argh, sperm of the devil, curses on you and your offspring. We may very well look well, that would be the vegetarian diet, inability to tolerate much alcohol, being in bed most of the time and general clean living. But, for all those non ME/CFS victims here's a scenario: If you had the worst hangover ever in the world, coupled with the onset of flu, the whole shebang; aching joints, sore throat, shivers, dizziness.....you get the picture? OK if a friend asked you to go to the cinema and you felt that bad would you go? No, you wouldn't. Well, that is how a typical CFS person feels most days, and no matter how any of your 'well' friends nag, "but you'll only be sitting down in the cinema, it's not as if we're going to be walking around or anything." No,no,no - the answer is NO!